MY JOURNEY TO LOVE
THE BACKSTORY-
A path that I seldomly traveled without a second pair of footprints – yet I often felt alone – sometimes single, even when I wasn’t. My journey to love isn’t one that you’ll find in a fairy tale story – but it’s real, exhilarating and I’m living my happily ever after.
From a very young age, I was quite intuitive about what I wanted for my life – this included my career path, traveling the world and the type of man I wanted to marry one day. Growing up, I didn’t have many good examples of men in my life; but I was raised by very strong women and I subconsciously used their personal experiences with love and relationships to model what I wanted and didn’t want in a husband.
I had my first “serious” boyfriend at 15 and I got married at 24, during that time I was either in a relationship or on a date with someone who I could potentially see myself in a relationship with. I was that girl who always had a boyfriend and always had a plan.
The plan was to live my life to the fullest but never compromise my integrity or my happiness – I’ve had some fun times, but things didn’t always go to plan and I sometimes found myself in relationships that were lonely, abusive and toxic! If I was going to speak about every ex I’ve ever had, we would need days upon months, and bottles upon bottles of wine to get through, so I’ll tighten it up.
Throughout the years, I dated all types of men- from my high school sweetheart to an oil tycoon and others in between. I’m a commitment type of girl – so I formed these relationships that meant the most to me, always gave a lot of effort but had no problems walking away if it didn’t fit what I wanted for my life. As hard and painful as that always was, I just couldn’t settle for less than I knew I deserved.
I was modern but with ‘old-fashioned’ values – monogamy, honesty and loyalty were very important to me and anything outside of that would break our relationship. Which leads me to August 2012, curled up on the floor in my shower, inconsolably crying, after finding out that once again – my efforts weren’t good enough. I was heartbroken.
“How can I be me and share my life with someone else? What did these other girls have that I didn’t? Am I pretty enough? Am I smart enough? Was I the problem?” – Maybe therapy will help – and it did, but not before a fun night out at LIV with my girlfriends (if you’ve ever been to Miami then you KNOW it’s the place to be on a Sunday night) – sparklers sparkling, champagne flowing and the music jumping! I danced the night away with a super-hot guy who I didn’t know then, would one day end up being my husband (thanks to my good ‘ol Caribbean waistline).
THE LOVE STORY-
Rich was on vacation from work and I was on vacation from love – we were both living our best lives that night! I remember waking up the next morning with a hangover, bruises on my legs and a “hope you made it home safe” BBM (Blackberry Message).
In the midst of me swearing off alcohol and trying to remember what could’ve caused the bruising (seriously, WTF was I doing? lol); I got a call from my girlfriend, urging me to get dressed because ‘the guys from last night’ were on their way to take us out for lunch and she needed a wing gal. I felt like crap but was in no mood for leftover pizza, so it didn’t take much persuading.
After a few hours of getting lost and a failed navigation system, a Rolls Royce Phantom pulled up to the building of my condo – it was a head-turner to say the least (but to any Miami local, it also screamed South Beach tourist)! Like a true gentleman, Rich greeted me with a hug and opened my door – the bonus was that he looked even hotter than I remembered from the club.
The group of us went out for lunch, drove around the city, had dinner and then ended up at a bar nearby. We were having the best time – our convo went from global crises, to bonding over The Secret by Rhonda Byrne , sharing jokes and listing places in the world we would love to visit. This lead to us searching the next available flights to the Bahamas, because the guys had never been and it was only 25 minutes away. I’m usually the opposite of spontaneous, but that day I decided to live in the moment (no really, who is this girl?)!
Although our 2 days spent in the Bahamas were amazing, I was not in the right mindset to start dating again. Rich flew home to Dubai and I enrolled in a therapy program that an ex-ex signed me up for as a gift (he clearly knew that I had more issues than Vogue). Look, I wasn’t perfect and there were times when I was the problem – I sometimes brought ‘baggage’ (hurt, insecurity, jealousy and selfishness) over to a good relationship that in hindsight I could’ve handled differently. However, I was ready to evolve and I knew there were changes within myself that I needed to make (not for a guy or anyone else, for me). I lost trust in others but the worst of it, was the trust I lost in myself to be a good judge of character – I needed to heal and grow from that.
While working on myself and becoming more spiritual; I asked God for strength, clarity and to remove people from my life who didn’t mean me well – this included my narcissistic ex who was trying to get me back. I prayed a lot – and one prayer in particular was a very detailed and specific one about the type of man I wanted for a husband.
I was enjoying the time spent with myself, working out, checking things off my Vision Board, trying new things and meeting new people – all while still in daily contact with my new favorite friend. I took a few trips to Dubai to see him and we always had a blast – being in his company was effortless, we were so similar but yet so different.
There was no pressure to be exclusive (I don’t recall us ever having that conversation) but I knew things were getting serious when he invited me to spend Christmas in the U.K with his family. By this time (5 months-in) I was still a bit fragile but I felt safe with him – I also felt a new sense of security within myself that was untouchable.
We were in a long-distance relationship and at no point did I ever think he was unfaithful nor did I feel the need to ‘fact check’ this! I was on a whole new vibe, I knew who I was and I was confident about what I brought to the table. I also believed in the Law of Attraction and our energies were in sync – fortunately, he felt the same way I did.
Over the next year we traveled to see each other often, ran up loads of phone bills, created the most amazing memories, became the best of friends and started planning our future together. It was a cool winter night (a few months after our one year mark), while taking a stroll along the beach of the Fontainebleau (where we met) when he got down on one knee and popped the question – somewhere between the tears and excitement I said yes!
We have been happily married and driving each other mad for 7 years tomorrow, with three beautiful little boys – who in my eyes have already won in life, because they get to call one of the greatest men to ever live, Dad. My heart is full and I’m extremely grateful for I have been blessed with more than I prayed for.
When I reflect on all the extra pairs of footprints that I traveled with on my journey to love, I smile. The love and lessons throughout the course of those years helped to push me in the direction I was meant to be. My only advice to those still on their personal journey to love is “don’t be afraid to take chances or start over.”
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Comments on article
I really needed to read this... God bless your union and your family hun
Sis!!! This is my third time reading your beautiful love story. I am so here for it all. Sharing this with everyone ❤️❤️
Thank u for sharing this is beautiful ❤
I really love this journey of yours Lesa. While reading, i was brought to tears. I’m at the point in my journey where I’m praying a lot. Trusting is God is just absolutely amazing.
Such a beautiful love story. That Caribbean waistline tho!!
Thank you so much for sharing your story, thank you for being open, this really touched & inspired me. God bless you.
Loved reading this story & thanks a mil for sharing your journey. I’m so happy that you didn’t shy away from seeking and receiving the help that sounded like it was really needed in order for you to move forward. I’ve yet to remove myself from a very toxic relationship/friendship. I know what needs to be done, but can’t find the strength of courage to. I’m told I don’t love myself and that Ive caused what is happening to me. That I allowed it. I’m so glad that you got out, never gave up and is now living your happily ever after. May God continue to bless you and your family in all that you do and shower love abundantly over your lives. Thank you Lesa, you and Rich are made for each other. God Bless ❤️❤️
Wow, I feel so inspired. Thank you for sharing your beautiful love story. Happy Anniversary!
This was such a beautiful blog I love it, I pray God blessings continue to flow in your home and your marriage
...thank you for sharing something so personal; but know that revealing your story has helped me. I recognize myself in what you went through to get where are...I will not give up on love.
I just want to thank you for sharing!!! Sometime we feel that happy endings are never coming for some of us!!! You have given back some hope to the hopeless romantics out there! I took two major things away from this: Never settle! And seeking therapy to heal old wounds/trauma is ok!!
Love is a beautiful thing and it’s even better when it’s reciprocated! Cheers to love and never ending happiness!
Thank you for sharing. Beautiful, I admire and respect that you seek therapy on your own. You didn’t allow your past to direct your present. Most people will be pensive, I love it. You are truly an amazing Boss, wife, mother, sister and daughter. Definitely Bless. I love that you put God first. I learn to do that 11 years ago, best decision I made. You are phenomenal Woman
This is wonderful. Thank you for sharing I wish the both of you many more years of marriage.
Such a beautiful story. I felt I was reading a romance novel that I couldn't put down. Beautifully written. God continues to bless your union Love you guys
I pray for u both to have more life, fun, love each other, love ur kids more each day but alway remember put prayer before all thing that u do
THNAK YOU SO MUCH! you have no idea, how much your journey and experiences have motivated me to not give up. As a single parent I think it gets harder and I decided, love wasn't out there for me, I tried both family and relationships and they both lacked the type of love I knew I deserved despite my past circumstances. So for 2021 I wanted to give up, n then I saw your post on IG and when I read your journey, I just felt instantly motivated. Im not ugly, im smart, intelligent and not a sad story, so why should I be scared of love??. It hurts, not gonna like but I would like to know what it genuinely feels like. Thank you Lesa, for reassuring that there is a God and he's not dead or blind to my tears and prayers and for helping me believe that I DO DESERVE LOVE!
I love this story! I am on a similar journey, prayed and found him
Wow thank you for sharing your story it really gives me hope xxx
Lesa, thank you so much for always being open with us girls. You are an inspiration because you let me know that what I want is not impossible or a "stretch" by any means. Your family is beautiful and only wish continued success and love for you!
Thank you for sharing your beautiful Love story. You give me hope. I am still on my personal journey of finding love after being divorced 5 years. I believe in Love and This blog truly encouraged me. You and your family is beautiful. I have been following you on IG since day 1. I don’t remember how I started following you but you reminded me of a girl way back on BET College Hill. May God continue to prosper you and everything you do in 2021.
U must write a book u are a damn great writer n yiur story left me with goosebumps. Happy anniversary my gorgeous frnd. U deserve all the greatness life n love can offer. Thank u for sharing ure story n giving me hope
So reading your story to end almost make me cry because I’m going through the same situation,I kept asking myself I’m i different I’m I not pretty enough...why do I kept meeting all these wrong men that bring tears to my eye ... but after reading your PowerFul love ❤️ note I know there is light at the end of my tunnel and I know there is my mr right waiting for me .. I told myself imma write ✍️ a love letter to god and I know he’s gonna lead me to the right place
I also listen to the audio book and I do truly believe in the law of attraction and this sealed the deal I don’t normally read these blogs and sumn made me read this one specifically. Thank you I even believe it even more that I will get what I prayed for and more.
Amazing story... wishing you both everything beautiful and much more. Your Instagram fan. @georginaonuoha
I'm so happy for you. You're a brilliant lady and I always admired your confidence in pageantry. I've learned so much from you as a woman and I'm happy to see you grow and live the life of your dreams. I was ready to give up on love, but I've learned some new things from your story that I'll implement in my own life and in the meantime focus on loving myself. All the best to you and your family!
Love wins! 2021 I’m manifesting a few pages out of your book! Therapy, taking chances and never settle! Beautiful Read !
Hi Lesa, thank you for sharing!! Such a beautiful story on your journey to finding your forever love!! May God continue to bless you and beautiful family!
Hi Lesa, thanks for sharing!! Such a beautiful story on you journey to finding your forever love! May God continue to bless you and family!
Awesome read
Such a beautiful story . May you be blessed with many great memories together.
Beautiful and inspiring. May your union withstand time.love always win
Beautiful and inspiring. May your union withstand time.
Spiritually Beautiful...thank you for sharing...
What a beautiful love story. In Jamaica we would say yuh bingo. Girl blessings in abundance. What is for you is for you. God is good. ❤❤
I was about to give up on love until I read your story. You gave me hope. Thank you for sharing
I’m truely happy for you ... I love love and despite my failed, toxic relationships, I’m hopeful that I may someday soon find my “happily ever after” All the best for the new year to you and your fam
Beautiful
This is beautiful and I’m extremely happy for you. A big part of me has given up on love and I’ve been depressed and heartbroken for over 3 years now. I had been in a relationship with the person I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. We have 2 kids. He left me when I was 4 months pregnant with our second child. He got a job offer to work in Cayman and just like that he decided is doesn’t want to be in a committed relationship anymore. It’s so hard being a single mom with 2 young children. I’m still so hurt and after 3 years I still find myself crying myself to sleep most nights or on my way to work. I’ve been praying to forgive him and also for God to place the right husband in my life. I’m almost 39 and just want to give up on love. Thanks so much for sharing and I can relate most of what you have said as it relates to your standards and morals. You have a beautiful family and you deserve everything that God has blessed you with. Happy Anniversary tomorrow.
Beautiful love story...
This!!!! Your love story was nothing short of amazing!! Thank you for sharing!!
I know what I want .. just keep getting what I don’t want what advice you can gives,I’m not afraid to start over .
The imperfect love story. Love this!
Amazing read, thank you for sharing. I wish you both the best and love through eternity. Sometime we have to hit some hurtles before the real prince arrives. Through all your mistakes and bad choice of men, you overcame and God sent you a blessing and that is Rich. It was meant to be, it was a matter of time. Your time was at Liv which in the long run became your love story. Happy Anniversary to you both
What an amazing amazing story! Thank you for Sharing! I tell people all the time the most amazing things happen when you are just living, not expecting just living! There’s beauty in when love just happens. I am so happy for you both! Continue to keep God in the center while being the best of friends and may he protect you and your beautiful family! We love to see it!!!! Happy New Year babe!
Incredible story..: Happy anniversary and a life time more to go
Awesome read! Love the openness. Felt as if I was there with you. Thanks for sharing.
Amazing love story, like I just read a novel .
This is such a great post. Thank you for sharing your journey and encouraging me to continue forward. I can relate to your first half experiences so much lol. Thank you & I love your blog.
Happy Anniversary! Great read and even better advice to those still on the journey to love...
Oh Lesa, I was all smiles reading your story and it felt like I just stepped out of an historic novel wanting more to read I wish for you and your family to continue your journey together and forever. Thanks for opening up to us you didn’t have to and for that reason I want to say thank you for letting us in your life. I just have one opinion please write a book of your magical story... Ps: I met my husband while pregnant at the Jamaica jazz and blues festival in 2009, married in 2010 going 11 years all things are possible indeed
Beautiful, thanks for sharing your story ❤️
Hi Lesa, Happy New year to you and your beautiful family and also a happy Anniversary to you both. I've been following you for some time now and I've always admire your family and especially you and how classy, true and cultural authentic you are (JAMAICAN HERE ). I fell into tears (of joy) reading your beautiful story. Thanks for sharing ❤ Your story and many others has given me hope and a new perspective of what is yet to come. I've been single for almost a year now. After exiting one of the most toxic, manipulative and deceitful relationship last February, i decided to focus on myself and seek professional help. Though I'm still unsure as to if and when I'm ready to sharing my energy witg someone, I'll always keep this statement alive " don't be afraid to take chances or start over. " Xoxo Sami....❤
wow i felt this and it really gave me hope , i’m 23 and surrounded by friends and family who seem to have it perfect with love and really lost hope but this gave me hope
Just beautiful. I loved your transparency in this article!
I started crying at "my efforts weren't good enough" because that is where I am now. The battle for self-love. This was a beautiful read. May you and your family be continually blessed. 2021 and beyond.
So transparent, vulnerable and Absolutely beautiful Happy Happy Anniversary to you both & wishing you years of bliss! Salud’✨
This is beautifully written! I’m happy you found your forever love and those boys are so handsome! Good luck and all the blessings that this new year has to offer!
Such a beautiful story! It gives any young girl hope in times where some ppl are extremely lonely and vulnerable, and are simply settling for anyone or anything. I too am happily married and believe in love and you and your husband's love is so beautiful to watch. Loving all your content on your many platforms. Keep it up!
Heyyyy Lesa! In life when we are so comfortable and blind sitting in toxicity, it only take a second to shake our blind asses up “no leftover pizza”. I believe in therapy and spiritual healing. Being a momma to a teenager I am just beginning to heal my heart to find love, girl I’m 33 and lonely “but know I will find it”. I grew up without both of my parents so a role model wasn’t in my life. Healing takes time and I am constantly in awe of your drive and love for and towards your family. Stay bless and never cease praying my love. Happy new year Ladyophelia
I absolutely love this! I am genuinely happy that you got your fairytale ending! It was very refreshing to read!
Hi Milan, ur story is very inspirational and I wish u guys all the best
Insightful and thoughtful.... so enjoyed reading...thanks for sharing
I’m going to be honest I’ve been checking everyday to see when you’d post this! I love to see happily ever afters! At 24 this gives me hope and joy at the same time. I agree with prayer, therapy, and the Law of Attraction. The 3 go hand in hand! Thank you for always inspiring me!
Such an incredible story. Very well written. I teared up around the half way mark! Haha. Congratulations to the both of you, thank you for sharing your story.
It was so personal without being too long and it made me cry happy tears. I think it’s because we believe so hard in love. Being tested is so difficult. Yet, God always comes through and adds a little extra. I enjoyed this so much .
One of the best love story ever told....The growth was felt from start to finish..Wishing you a lifetime of Love to you and hubby!